Damia'...

is getting cuter and heavier...haha.

 Awat yang dok berkerut-kerut ni, Damia'?

Thank you, Kuantan.
Thank you, Kak Long and Abang Long.
Thank you, Abah, Mak, Awa, Hadi, Sabiha, Shahida and Kak Ngah.
Thank you, Allah..=)

p/s : Sorry to Shira and Hidayah-san for not answering your calls because my phone is 

        having a fit. It throws tantrum by shutting down by itself.

        I'm deeply sorry for any inconvenience that I might've caused for not being able to answer your calls. 

simply the best!

Assalamualaikum...

Grateful, blessed and contented. That' what I felt yesterday.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah...=) 

I am blessed for I am still living on this Earth, 
I am blessed for still being a muslim

I am still blessed with iman.

I am grateful for your birthday wishes 

and

I am grateful for being able to make 

some people feel happy on my birthday.

I am contented with the blessings that You give to me.

Your blessings are simply the best!!

O Allah, please do not stop guiding me to the path of righteousness.

I am trying my best to be a better servant of Yours...Inshallah.

Thank you, syukran, arigatou, muchas gracias and gamsahamnida for your wishes, guys!!

 My family members, Ami and her family, Bell, Anis-chan, Kunor, Farahin, Hanisah, Tini, Syafa& her sis, Azimah, and Amalina Amoeba.

Wishing a happy belated birthday to everyone in the world who share the same

birthdays as mine.

誕生日おめでとう

(n___________n) 

p/s : what better way to celebrate your birthday than to get your SAT score on the same day?   

p/p/s : Tima kasih banyak-banyak untuk T-shirt itu, dompet gajah yang comel itu, kek cokelat itu,'makanan-makanan' hati itu, bday wish yang sampai tepat pada 00:00 itu,
result SAT itu, dan blog template burung hantu itu.

there you go...

Thanks for the tag, shira..=)
Bold the statements that ARE true to you . Italicize the statements that you WISH were true . Leave the fibs alone(No way I'm gonna leave them alone) . Then , tag 5 people to do the same test .

I'm 170cm tall - I'm nowhere close to 170cm  and I don't wish to be that tall. Being short is FUN because you get to strain your neck to talk and see the face of taller people...XD

I don't know what i want at the moment

I'm not happy 

I hate my life - My life is at the best at this moment.

I hate my friends - It's hard to hate people, ya know.

I hate my grades - I think I am doing fine. Well, I believe so. 

I can drive - Yes, I want to drive on my own someday.  

I'm bored of driving - Xbleh drive lagi, camna nak rasa boring??

I have a white handbag - I'm not a fan of handbag. The only handbag that I have is the one that K.Ngah bought for me.

I love dancing

I go clubbing every week 

Shopping is b******t - No bad language(profanity) is allowed here, sweetie.

I have a tattoo of a star

I got my navel pierced

I have friends that take drugs - I consider my friends as rational enough.

90% of my friends smoke - SMOKING IS NOT COOL. Just so you know, my friends are cool people...XD

I still hangout with my ex, eventhough our break up was rather nasty

I'm studying fashion - It'd be a disaster to fashion industry.

I have a business running - Does helping in your mum's perfume business count?

I hate cartoons - Never in a million year.

I hate someone - Berapa kali nak tulis?? It's hard to hate people, okay?

I have 10 lolipops handbags - What is lolipop handbags? Nope, I'm not going to google it.

I buy CLEO every month - Gah!!! I don't have fashion sense in myself. What do you expect? 

My parents don't know about my blog - They'll know about it sooner or later. It's just a matter of time.

I have an ipod - Ipod is not even cool. Why do I have to buy one?

I don't have faith in the current "one." - Oh, I have the greatest faith in Him. 

My school mates know about my blog - School mates = my friends. So, yes, they do.

I wanted to be a fashion designer - Fat chance.

I love rock emo bands

I hate it when people cancel last minute meet ups - Yes, indeed.

I'm a rebel - I'm hardly a rebel, I'm just stubborn.

I don't believe in love- Loving the One and my family are enough to make me believe in it.

High school's filled with drama - My high school days were pretty boring. Especially when you were so busy being a nerd back then.

My parents have faith in me -  Tell me something that I don't know...XP

I've bought shoes this month - I will buy one pair before this month is over.

A blogger b****ed about me before - Errgh..rotten language makes me mad. But so far, NOPE.

I hate sports - Not when I'm busy keeping up with EPL and Champs League' scores every now and then. 

I heart Italian food - Okay, maybe I don't actually heart it. I just like it.

I hate meeting new people 

I hate nail polish

The mother bear gives me hugs - First of all, what's a mother bear? Do you mean it, literally?

People should start appreciating me - It should be the other way round.

High school was the worst time of my life - Nope!! Primary school is the worst. I really mean it.

I have red hair

One Utama is my second home - I don't even live in K.L.

I'm a guy

I'm scared of my Biology exam which I'm going to face tomorrow

I hate vacations - Sometimes I do. You know, when the journey takes more than 10 hours. 

We'll last - We?? As in friends? Yes, FRIENDSHIP FOREVER!!
 
I believe in a long distance relationship 

I'm going to get high and smoke weed one day soon - Aaah...ni memang sah xdak keja.

I've robbed an old lady - Same goes to this statement. Xdak keja btui.

I'm starting to start applying make-up - Are talcum powders counted as make-up?

I was a tomboy - Nope, I was a nerd.

At times i think i still am a tomboy - Nope, I just think that I am still a nerd.

I love b****ing about people behind their backs - Do I need to remind you again? No bad language is allowed here.

I still have a bestfriend - I think so. Hmm... what is the real definition of best friend? 

I have a cat - Oh yes!! I'd love to have a cat or a hamster(used to have one, but he DIED) or a parrot or a rabbit or a dove or a nice-looking frog. Well, you get the idea.

I hate surprised parties - Tell you what, I've never been surprised.

I hate planning parties - Nah, planning parties are FUN!! Heh, I've only planned one party so far.

I'm hot- I'm as cold as a refrigerator.

I'm a sinner 

I've got a DS Light-Yes, sabr Nadiah. It's just a matter of time to get your hands on the DSi.

I have a Wii - Anything from Nintendo appeals me!! So yes, I wish I have one.

I can live without music

Video games are a waste of time - I won't start commenting...

I miss the father bear - Again...Whaddaya mean, father bear?

I love being in love - with Allah S.W.T and my family...=)

I know how to cook - Yes, I know. And, cooking for people is an undefined feeling.

I have 100% freedom - I wonder what would happen if I had 100% freedom. *shudders*

Boys are a******s - Gah!!Profanity...again. Anyway,my brother, Hadi is way better than that, thank you.

I hate math - Life without calculations will be dull. (What possess me to write that? *turns head, right and left*) 

I'm happy with what I have - Can't be happier!! Alhamdulillah...=)

I love horror films - I'm gonna use my newly-learned vocab here. Horror films FTW!

I slept in my parent's room for 3 days after watching Scream when i was kid

My old friends keep in touch with me - Yes, they do. I'm even prouder(?) to say that we keep in touch just using phones and YM. Yep, not Facebook.

I don't read newspapers - That'd be total ignorance.

The news is such a waste of time - What's the use of having newspapers and TV then?

Blogging is a waste of time - Hehe, I am wasting my time with blogging...XD

I hate animals - Animals are cute. Oh yeah, frogs are cute!!

I can't live without make-up - Err...scientifically speaking, make-up is not even one of the basic needs in life.

I curse like a pirate - Curses burn my ears.

I'm happy with my 11 year old car - Not applicable.

I hate people that are smart - No way!! Smart people are just ..... cool?

I love Orange juice - and apple juice and watermelon juice and honeydew juice.

I can't drink for nuts

I believe that everyone in their teens have lost their virginity - Errgh.. very UNCIVILIZED thought.

I'm not going to follow the 'tag-5-people' rule.

Anyone who reads my blog and has free time to do this tag, feel free to do it.

p/s : I'm going to Kuantan on the 23rd. With my family. That means, family day!!

         Ehem..never mind that it's almost time for schools to reopen back.

a BIG congratulation

Assalamualaikum...

To : Hanisah, Sabrina and Azimah

Congratulations for getting admissions from Purdue Uni

and Ohio State Uni!!!

Make your best decisions, okay?

Inshallah, with the help from Him.

p/s : pray for our admissions as well, okay? 

p/p/s : someone from Oslo, Norway visits my blog? Umm...hi? Salam?

p/p/p/s : just got to know the meaning of ftw.yep, i am a noob. 
            tokimeki FTW!! 

It IS important...

My heart swells whenever I am in the 'circle'.

And I hope it won't break.

Thank you to Kak Feza, Kak Bijah, Syahirah, Akmar and Syud.

To be continued...

my only wish....

اهدِنَــــا الصِّرَاطَ المُستَقِيم

Show us the Straight way

صِرَاطَ الَّذِينَ أَنعَمتَ عَلَيهِمْ غَيرِ المَغضُوبِ عَلَيهِمْ وَلاَ الضَّالِّينَ

The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace, those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray. 

                                                                                         (01 : 06-07) 

The darkness is overwhelming.

I am currently suffocating.

I need Your help, Ya Allah.

it's them...

Assalamualaikum...

I've just realized this. The probability of my friends be it in primary school, secondary school or college, who knows or even has the chance to meet my family members is almost zero percent!!And so, I decided to write/type a post about my beloved family...=)

BEWARE: long and heavy amounts of words await you!!

 *click on the pic for bigger size*

Top from the left : Abah, Abg.Long, K.Long, Mak

Bottom from the left : Shahida, K.Ngah, Awa, Me, Sabiha

Missing In Action : Hadi

1.Abah

Abah is already old..hehe(nice way to introduce Abah). He is a retiree from TM. Abah always leaves us(my siblings and I) laughing out loud, literally, with his remarks and actions.I believe, he is the one who encourage me to read English storybooks when I was small. I am very thankful to him for that.Really, I do.

Abah likes going to Giant almost every single day after he retired. Maybe it has got to do with the groceries that he buys to cook for lunch...hehe. I envy Abah because he cooks better than me. How come la abah can cook better than me, ha? But then, he has his quirks when it comes to cooking. For example, he adds clove when he cooks sardine.Hahaha...my aunt finds it really weird when she knows about that.

I plan to buy a whole lots of books for Abah. Inshallah...I'll start buying the book that he wants very much since 3 months ago by next week. Still on the quest to find it at other bookstores in Alor Star.

2.Mak

Mak is 10 years younger than Abah. She is a teacher in a primary school. Mak is small, but is superduperfantastic. She does a lot of works in the house and at the school, and she is currently busying herself with a perfume business. I'm very amazed and proud of Mak.

Like most mothers in this world, Mak nags a lot. Yes, we do get tired of hearing her nagging. But, we do know that she's doing that for our own good. Also, if we want to ask for permission to go out with our friends, we'll just go to her because she is less strict than Abah when it comes to the matter of going out of the house.

Mak is also very generous to us.O-kay, maybe this is just applicable for me. Many times, I was told by her to fully use the money that she gave to me. That means, no giving back the change to her. Err...I don't know. I just feel guilty when I use too much of the money(even if it's rm10).

3.K. Long

Obviously, K.Long is the first child in our family. She is married to Abg Long since last year.She has a child, Damia' Rujhaa, aging 2 months. And btw, just to answer my friends' question, she is currently a student, majoring in Pharmacy in UIA. The same goes with her husband, only that he's majoring in Medicine.

In my personal opinion, K.Long is very very matured. If K.Ngah and I were to compare with her, she thinks and acts more rationally when she was a teen. That explains why she got married so early...hehe. K.Long is kind of strict, but she has the tendency to slack off in doing the house chores when K.Ngah is present.Well, I tend to slack off too when K.Ngah is at home. Heh, everybody does in the house...XD. Don't be mad okay, K.Long?

2.K.Ngah

K.Ngah is one of the person who laugh a lot in the house. The other being Sabiha and Shahida. K.Ngah is also a student, currently taking Medicine in UKM. She gives us incessant warnings to not to take medicine just for the sake of wanting to get rich or whatsoever other unreasonable reasons. Well, I must admit that she has so many to learn compared to what I'm learning in INTI.

In her presence, I am inspired to do the house chores because she takes them seriously. I mean, she'd press the button of the washing machine in the morning, throws away the garbage and sweeps the floor. If she wants to ask for help, she asks decently. Heee~~Jangan kembang plak K.Ngah.

3. Me

Skip!!

4. Sabiha

She's the most blurred person in the house in terms of techno stuffs. For God's sake, she doesn't even know the existence of myspace, facebook and online games. And of course,unlike me, she doesn't play games(except for mario...XD).She only participates in the real life games though; she's been participating in a lot of competitions held by the school. Because of her blurriness, we(as in Shahida and me) like to pull pranks on her...*evil laugh*.

Truth to be told, she's taller than me..huhu. But no worries. People still see me as the older one because of her childish, immatured behavior...haha. She likes eating A LOT!! She's currently busy with SPM. I'm quite surprised to know that she's quite nerdy. Ya Allah, she revises almost everyday. From morning to night. Can't she even stop for half of the day? Meh, it provides the reason for her not to do house chores lah, so why bother?

Anyway, I'm secretly hoping that she's able to pass wonderfully in her exams. Inshallah...I have the belief in her because she has already surpassed me in her trial exam. Go to Japan, Sabiha!!

5.Shahida

The most compatible sibling ever. Basically, Shahida and I like the same thing. Surprise surprise, she's pretty helpful when I ask for help to do the house chores(again...when K.Ngah is not present).She's currently waiting for her PMR result to come out. I promise to buy something for her(and myself) if she gets 8A's in her exam....ngeh3.

Shahida and I like pulling pranks on Sabiha. Plus, Shahida is a quick learner concerning games and techno stuffs. She can pass all the levels in game easily even if she just played the game for several hours. So, all we do is to ask Sabiha to play a game (not mario of course) and by several minutes, we'd be laughing non-stop. Because of what? Because Sabiha doesn't even know how the game works. LOL...XD. Shahida and I are big meanie,aren't we? Well, it's fun.

5.Hadi

Okay people!! This is the only male sibling that we have in our family.Presenting himself....HADI(the front one,okay?). Briefly, Hadi is lazy. Yes, he is. He likes asking us to do stuffs for him. Too bad, we like rejecting him. Anyway, Hadi is currently 10 years old. Like any other boys, Hadi likes Ben 10, football and cycling. Hadi was circumsized last Sunday. He's been lying on the bed for almost 24 hours. Poor Hadi.

Hadi likes asking for my permission to play games in my laptop. Well, that's mainly because among those people in the house who have laptop, I'm the only one who downloaded games in my laptop.(count the word, laptop!!). Fuh, sometimes it gets irritating because he keeps playing the same game, famously known as FIFA 2010.

I want Hadi to grow up into a fine, soleh young man. I will not tolerate if Hadi were to try smoking or anything equivalent to it.

6. Najwa

The last sibling of mine. We call her Awa. I think I was the one who suggested to call her that name. Awa is a year younger than Hadi and is studying in the same school as Hadi.Anyway, for some unknown reasons, Awa is very close with K.Long. I have yet to figure out why.In contrast to Hadi, Awa is quite diligent. I can always rely on her to get my things if I am too lazy to move from my comfort zone...XD.

For a nine year-old girl, Awa is quite stylish. Mak always buy nice clothes for her. Unfortunately, she tends to wear her nice clothe even when she's at home. Ish3..mmg tak patut. Awa used to be very blurred during her early school days, but she turns out to be bright after all. Good job, Awa!!

....................................................................................................

All in all, I just want to say that I'm very very proud of you guys. We have different personalities, likes and dislikes, but yet we live in happiness.And, I am very thankful to Allah s.w.t for the family that I have. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah..

p/s : anyone who feels dissatisfied with my description?

koko ni iru yo...

Salam...

Feeling down,confused,tension,sad,guilty or stupid(lol)?
If you are,feel free to channel your feelings to the One.
And don't forget to pray to Him for help as well,okay?

Now...what do you feel?
The feeling still lingers around you?
Then,please tell me why.
I want to listen to your problems.
Well,that's the best I can do as your friend.
p/s: we are friends,right??

how??

Salam...

How do you advise people?Or to be exact,your peers?.
Do you know how hard it is to do so but then of course,it's not impossible,right?

Well,well,well...that's what I've been asking myself all this time.I admit that I have a hard time to advise or confront people when there's problem.Especially on coughlovecough.Blame it on my lack of social experience.

It especially gets reeaaaallly awkward if someone were to ask my opinion on the topic of love.I mean,the 'love' which equals to the quest of finding your soulmate.Uh,I don't have a clue on that.Truly,I don't feel the need of having and longing to find your soulmate every now and then.Allah s.w.t has promised us on that,right?So,what's with the rush?

And,this is a thought to be pondered upon by you and me.What of the love towards our Creator?Are we simply dismissing this love(which I believe,is the greatest love of all) as something not worth to be longed for?Do we love Him like we're supposed to?I do respect those who love each other because of Allah though.But,how to know that the love that we have towards each other is because of Him?Hmm...please give me some enlightenment.Frankly,I do not know.

Back to my main question.How to say it out loud--I mean,how to advise or to bring an understanding of this kind of love to my peers?It always have been a problem to me.I really don't know how to make them understand because I don't understand their version of 'love' either.Of course,unless if they are reading my blog.

Agagaga...anyone??I need your opinions or thoughts on this matter.Jeez,I feel kind of ashamed and stupid for asking this kind of question.*rubs the back of head*
But,if I do not ask now,I doubt that I'll ever understand and know how to tackle this kind of problem.

p/s : the unconscious mind has taken over me while I'm writing/typing the post.and NO,I'm not interested in any other kind of love except for the love for my Creator,parents,family and friends...=)

PSY 105

Officially finished the syllabus today.

INTERESTING.FUN.MIND-BOGGLING....not.

Wow,I just can't believe it!

I really really really like psycho.I'm amazed by it.

So many theories,therapies,disorders and etc that I've learnt.

Microsleep,narcolepsy,conditioning,Freud,Erikson,Maslow,Rogers,OCD,
hypochondriasis,dissociative personality disorder and aah,REBT.

REBT.One of the most successful therapies used by therapist today to treat patients.

Objective  : to help clients to dispute their own irrational beliefs with more rational, helpful statements.

Mechanism : three types of acceptance approach;unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance and unconditional life-acceptance.

Unconditional self-acceptance approach really moved me.It relates with the teachings in Islam on equality among human beings.

Islam is a universal religion.It does not condone with the act of discriminating others just because of the different social status that we have.

Thus,we have no right at all to claim that we are more or less better than anyone else in this world.

This reminds me of this Baba Ali video,The Reminder:Season 2.

Allah s.w.t is the only one who have the right to be judgmental of us because as I've said before,He knows everything. 

I am really happy that I am able to understand this world better with the new knowledge of psychology that Allah's given to me.Alhamdulillah...=)

p/s: wishing all the best for my friends for the finals.
        pray for my success in the final exam too.o-kay...study mode,ON!

l learn that...

It is not going to end anytime soon because you learn new things every single day.No,I'm not going to write an essay about learning here.That'd be boooring,eh?

I like it when I get to learn about new things especially languages.It doesn't matter really what or how much I've learnt about it.The beauty of languages,spoken by human kinds keeps reminding me that Allah s.w.t creates us of different colors,tribes and nations and yet,we are equal in the eyes of Him.Apart from that,it always intrigues me of how much knowledge I've yet to know.To think of it,Allah s.w.t knows EVERYTHING.MasyaAllah,that's really amazing!!It just shows you that we,humans are incomparable to Him...

Somehow,I miss my chem teacher in secondary school.She's really inspiring!!Actually,I am inspired by her to pursue my studies in Nutrition.I really miss the feeling of liking to listen what she feels about chemicals in food everytime she taught us chemistry in class.But,the feeling of determination that I had before has gone.I have forgotten how I used to be so confident that someday,I'll become a nutritionist.It is saddening that I have to consider the option of taking Dietetics.I really don't want to do it.It just doesn't feel right.The word 'diet' too doesn't sound good to me too.I'm not someone who like dieting anyway...=(

Aaah,I want to be a nutritionist!!I really want to.It's just that my course advisor asks me to consider taking dietetics instead of nutrition.Uh huh,I need to be wise in making my decision..*nods head continuously*

Faith!!That's the main thing here.Yep,I do have faith with what Allah's decided for me.InshaAllah,the future that lies ahead is going to be the best for me...=) 

What is your nutritional value again?

Err..that's how a nutritionist should look at food,right??

p/s : Al-Hujuraat (49:7), the verse of the week(for me lah).Thanks,my naqibahs!!

Of Personality...

Salam...
We talked about different personalities that human possess during usrah session on Wednesday night.It is amazing how Allah creates His creations uniquely with the personality that each and everyone of us have in ourselves.I never really thought about this before until my naqibah told us about it.It's really wonderful indeed.

So,I did the personality/temperament test.It's not surprising that I get such result.I don't think anyone who already took the test feel surprised at all.The description that I got here is quite accurate,I think.

Allah s.w.t creates us with minute details that is unthinkable of us.Really!!!The personalities that we possess are very well-balanced.We do have both strengths and weaknesses in ourselves.Like what my naqibah said,different personalities in humans help them to complete one another.Yeah,I believe in that too!!!

PATIENCE

is what I need the most.I need to be more sabr.

Rational thinking is the best way to solve problems.

Proved by what I've experienced all these time.

Do not rush in making assumptions or decisions for it'll bring about unnecessary mess.

I want to change for the better and to be able to think clearly while I'm doing anything...Inshallah.

Finished TOEFL...alhamdulillah.It is now the time for us to strive for our future,my dear friends!
May Allah continuously bless us...=)

~Sabr and shukr are wonderful things~ 

p/s:it's the 23rd Ramadhan already.what have u done,nadiah?

aha!!

Salam...
Wee~~I'm in the mood of writing.I've so many things to write/type these days.Too much free time,I guess.

The tazkirah between the 4th and 5th rakaat of the Tarawih prayers in INTI,delivered by some Muslim brothers are very interesting.Alhamdulillah,I've listened to two tazkirahs so far and I must say that,I've never heard anything like these before.The topics chosen were very simple yet gave a whole lot of meanings.

Last night was one of the night.The tazkirah was about the basic things in Islam which is Islam,Iman and Ihsan.The latter was focused in the tazkirah.Subhanallah...
The tazkirah left a big impression on myself that I felt the need to write/type a post about it.

Ihsan..What's the meaning behind this word?
Okay,lemme recall....

"According to the hadith by Umar Al-Khattab r.a;one day,the Prophet s.a.w(PBUH) was asked about three things by Jibril who appeared before those who sit with the Prophet. He was asked about the meaning of Islam,Iman and Ihsan."

"So,the Prophet s.a.w answered," It is that you should serve Allah as though you could see Him, for though you cannot see Him yet He sees you." when he was asked about Ihsan."
..................................................................................

The guy who delivered the tazkirah talked about lots of things related to this hadith.

What can I summarize from last night's tazkirah was;as the servant of Allah,we must have the sense of awareness in ourselves when we are performing our deeds.We might've think that Allah cannot see us and listen to us all the time.That's why most people choose to do the bad deeds during the nightime.Now,it all makes sense to me..

But,bear in mind that Allah s.w.t is not the same with us or any of His creations.He does not posses the same features as us whenever He sees and listens to us.Verily,He's All-Knowing and All-Aware.

It makes me realize that I've been thinking too much about inane things(like my previous post).If I were to remember Him all the time,I would not waste so much time to ponder upon these useless things that I've yet to understand.Maybe,I just need more time and yes,patience too..

*keep smiling and shining like these stars,Nadiah*

Most importantly,I've understood why do I have trouble to sleep early all these time.Astaghfirullahalazim...
I must be aware that Allah's watching me all the time.It's futile to conceal what's in my heart coz He too,knows that.

O Allah,forgive me for whining so much.I understand now,alhamdulillah...=)
Thank you Ya Allah,for reminding me again and again.

Salam...

I don't understand why

- I hardly understand myself
- I struggle to talk with someone whom I just get to know
- I like to talk with myself
- I cannot pretend to like something
- I like stereotyping
- My thoughts are jumbled up
- I've been talking gibberish lately
- I suck at mingling with people
- I drained out of energy so fast
- I like posting long-winded posts
- I cannot sleep early today,yesterday,etc...let's just say everyday.
- I really like to procrastinate
- I'm easily obsessed with something new
- I'm so thick-skulled
- I prefer sunglasses than contact lens though I do not wear any of them
- I always like sidekick rather than the main character(maybe that's because he/she does not get attention all the time like me...heh)
- I feel like an otaku when I'm obviously not

p/s : i'm not being emo.i just really don't understand,that's all...:D

realization...

Salam...
I felt so tired these few days in INTI(baru 2 hari ja kot..).Don't know why,maybe not getting enough sleep or enough food...:D.Today's going to be the 1st day for this sem....weee~~
O Allah,help me to continue this journey as I'm feeling quite restless these days...amin.

I just finished cleaning my room and arranging my books yesterday.I found something which went unnoticed for quite a long time.The brochures from the Islamic Awareness week.I stumbled upon one phrase which struck me deeply in my heart.It goes like this,"the truth is, we are the slaves to our egos until we choose to serve Allah instead".MasyaAllah,it is very true indeed.

As I've learnt before,there are different types of nafs inside ourselves.The nafs are against us when we are doing good things.For example,the nafs tell us to eat excessively,to be lazy,to sleep late in the night and etc.Can you see?All this time,we're blaming Shaitan for our bad attitudes and all.But the thing is,we need to have a good control of our nafs as well.The best time to test that is during this Holy month.Like Ami wrote in her blog,it is in this month,that we're able to see the true self in ourselves.Well,that's how I perceive it.

*shakes head* not so sedap anymore....

I can tell you that I have less desire now.I don't have the desire to eat much this time, I rarely read manga and so much more.But,I'm still not perfect.I can't change my sleeping habit yet...X(.I just can't sleep early.Not good,not good...Aha!Maybe that's why I keep feeling tired.I need your help Ya Allah.Really...I need it.

While blog-hopping(yes,I do that a lot),I find that the posts in Afifah's blog are very interesting.Especially the posts that she started writing/typing for Ramadhan.Very nice...I'm struck by the Day 7 post.Hits me hard enough...*ouch*.And so,I vow to restrain myself from doing idle stuff when I'm supposed to remember Him.That means all the time bcoz we're full-time muslim,right?

Well,that's all for now...
Assalamualaikum...

p/s: The path of righteousness is the path that I long for.O Allah,guide us to the right path...

p/p/s: This post is meant for a reminder for myself and others...InsyaAllah.

mixed feelings....

Salam...
I'm perplexed with humans or to be exact,myself.Hmm...I don't know.Sometimes,when I think again,I just can't believe that I'm doing a preparation to go to the State.It's just unbelievable.When I reminisce my past,it makes me feel nostalgic.How I've changed so much(or maybe little) to become the one who I am right now.Maybe some people don't even notice the changes I had in myself.

I don't even know if I like the changes in myself.I'd like to be a social recluse once again,I really missed the feeling.Yet,I know that it'd do no good to me as I'm living in a community.It'd be pointless to live in solitude....I guess.*bitter laugh*

Once,my friend even said she saw me as 'kakkoi'.I felt like laughing when she said that coz she's way cooler than me.I am really gonna miss my time in high school especially when you were there with me,my friends.

Dear Farah,I'm in gratitude with you.Thanks so much for giving me a better insight of this life,mainly about the wondrous world of books!I can't express my feeling any better...You really inspire me to do better.I can never feel envious with you because I know that you deserved all the things that you have now.You claim that you're somewhat evil yet, you're one of the kindest and nicest person I've ever met.Sorry for not being the kind of friends whom are always by your side,who listens to your problems or who often contacts you.I'm sorry,my friend.

And soon,you're gonna fly as well but,sadly to other country.I wish I can study in the same uni with you like how we used to study in the same school,but it's already fated that we'll live our separate lives.I pray that you'll be guided by Allah always when you're there.May Allah bless you continuously with His blessings...Thank you so much for being my friend!!Thanks to Allah for making her one of my friends.Though we haven't met for such a long time,I'd never forget you.NEVER.EVER.

p/s: From now onwards,I want to write new vocabs that I've learnt.Love Owl City.Penance-I love this word...XD

random thoughts...

Salam...
Aaah,alhamdulillah...I'm almost finished with the final exam.Just one more to go...MPW!!
Anyways,I'm not here to blab or write/type whatever that happened during the last few papers which were quite unexpected. I just want to voice out my thoughts now...

Okay,here I go..Firstly, I just want to say that I'm tired of the changes around myself.Ok, I get it that you want to change.But, hey!Change for the better but not the worse.What? Are you saying that you feel that being a good person made you less popular or something? Well,think again my dear friends.Gah!!People nowadays are very ignorant. Yeah, seriously very very very ignorant!! Especially us, the muslim ummah. Me included as well coz I'm no better than anyone else and sometimes we tend to take things for granted. BUT then, if you're not doing anything to be better or let's just say.....you like to be ignorant, then you're life is like BLEH...Hmm...I'm not being snobbish or whatsoever you want to call me coz to me, ignorant people are really like BLEH. Oh,come on!Use the 'aql' that Allah's given us..Why do you want to keep doing sin when you know that it's wrong? WHY? WHY? and WHY? I'm so frustrated with myself for I'm such a person who lacks experience in dealing with people like YOU...Why can't I just blatantly express my disapproval of your actions? Aah, maybe that's because I'm socially inept or is it because of my awkwardness when it's time to give advice? I feel so useless bcoz I can only hate your actions wit all my passion in my heart....T____T

Moving on to the next topic....Our life in this world. Don't you know that you can die at any time? Just like the scene in the "Tomorrow Never Comes" film, we must grab the chances that Allah's given us to change for the better. And here, you're proudly proclaiming the so-called "wonderful" life as the best thing that can happen in your life. Don't you ever realize or think about how you will die? Are you going to die in time where you're doing good for Allah or vice versa? It'll surely make you think again when you want to do something. Well, it surely does make me think more about my death when I watch the film from ummahfilms.They sure have done a good and wonderful job in reminding us..Alhamdulillah.May Allah repays their deeds.

Next!!!
I want to talk about uniqueness. Just now during usrah, someone said," I've yet to know what's my uniqueness.So how to know what's unique in ourselves?" to the naqibah. Azimah said that actually sometimes we don't feel like we're unique, but then others can see the uniqueness in ourselves. I agree with you my friend!!So, my response was that I do believe that Allah's created every single person in this world with their own uniqueness. It's just a matter of time for us to discover it.And as for me, I reckon I'll just have to wait and search for it...I really do believe that I'll find it!! Insyallah...May the uniqueness that Allah's given us are being used to get us closer to the Creator.

In conclusion, today's posts are somewhat unorganized and yada yada...But the most important of all is not to be ignorant. Ignorance leads you away from Him and if you don't start to make any changes in yourself (our heart) as in to leave 'maksiat' in order to become better, Allah will not change you for the better as well.And yeah, ignorance is not "bliss".Once again,I'm no better than anyone.. I'm just a muslim who's still trying to find the eternal blessings from Allah.

p/s : This post serves as reminder for myself and others as well...InsyaAllah.

feeling nostalgic....i miss my old self

Salam~~

of gratitude...

Salam...
Alhamdulillah,alhamdulillah,alhamdulillah...

That's really what I should say every single day. I shouldn't forget to remember Allah everyday in my life. We,muslims always take for granted the things that we have in life and that includes me. You see, I didn't really understand WELL when 'islam' is said to be the best of all things that Allah's given to us. I just know that it's simply the best gift from our Creator but I never knew the real meaning behind it.

One event caused a huge impact on me(i shall not disclose it here,though), which made me really think what it really means to be a 'muslim'..alhamdulillah. Seriously I'm telling you, we never really think about Allah's helps in our life which is like all the time,24/7,every single minutes,seconds and till now(yeah,i mean now!). I used to feel inferior to others before, feel really useless and keeps asking wat's the point of me living in this world? Really!!Do I have any role at all?

And, alhamdulillah...I'm really gratefull for I've been given the understanding by Allah through his messengers. Thank you so much!!I'm moved to tears whenever I started to think back wat I've been doing for the past years. Subhanallah, You're simply amazing, Ya Allah!! Anyhow, as we know, our 'iman' increase and decrease...Well, truthfully, few weeks after sem 3 started, I'm kinda back to my 'old' self again. I know that I'm doing wrong things, but I keep doing it. The most amazing part was that I can feel that my soul do not like what I'm doing(seriously speaking, I really can feel it). I tried to search for help but you know.... I'm never good in expressing my feelings to others so yeah, I keep doing the wrongdoings.Astaghfirullah...

To cut it short, Allah saved me again through the ummahfilms vids. When I watch the video, it really made me laugh out loud(LOL) but most importantly,it makes me think about You, Ya Allah. It REALLY makes me think of You all the time.

I'm really 10000000000x thankful to You. It's an indescribable feeling. You made me realize so much, I mean real much! How ungrateful I am to you..I only think about you whenever I perform my obligatory acts. I'm ashamed of myself...If it were not through your messages, I'd be lost.....lost from You. Alhamdulillah, praise be upon You for You're helping me throughout my life.I wish to be better and better and to strengthen myself for the future that I've yet to encounter with Your guidance...insyaAllah.

p/s : this post is meant to be a reminder for myself and others...insyaAllah.
finals are coming...huhu. Better start revising now...

Salam~~

speechless!!

Salam..

Really!! I do not know what to say..Hmm..I wish there's nobody reading this bcoz sincerely, I created this blog just to say what I had in mind(which makes it no different from other blog).I'm never good in expressing my real feelings towards others.Seriously speaking, I'd never thought about this before but I think I'm a better listener than a talker. And for a fact, I write better rather than speaking with others bcoz I'm socially inept.Yep, I'm quite hopeless when talking with people!

I tend to observe others from far and somehow, it makes me happy whenever they're happy(esp the closeness of my friends).Frankly, I want to have a greater conviction to serve the purpose of living in this world in a better way. I want to grow stronger along with my fellow friends!!I want my opinion to be noticed but I failed miserably bcoz I lacked idea as to what to say to them. My brain just went blank whenever I speak to someone and I just nod to them whenever they're saying something...

I feel really embarrassed with myself if I were to compare what I've written here with others(esp ami and hanisah who writes really well and sensibly). I simply write senseless things here; sometimes I write utter nonsense. And, I've come to realize that I'm not ready yet to share with others except 'you', what I've written here bcoz it's complete nonsense and everything's jumbled up.I........really do not know how to say this in a better word.I hope you'd understand,my friend.

p/s : ak x nak jadi popular...hehehe.

i wonder.....

Salam~

So many things happened these last few days..

I got a shocking news about my sis, never thought it'd turn out that way..

I became an aunty within few hours after the news..alhamdulillah~~Praise to Allah..

A baby girl was born on 20th July 09, at 8 pm...

I'm praying that she's okay though, because she was born prematurely.

And just now, during Bio class, I learnt about the development of the embryo from days to weeks to months..Subhanallah!I totally can relate it with the baby..The baby only weighs 800g when she's supposed to weigh about 1300g after being almost 30 weeks.I think she must be very delicate and fragile.Oh Allah, please protect her.

And yeah,I'm planning with k.ngah to visit k.long this Friday.Mak also will be there wit k.long and her husband.Anyhow, abah and the others are not there which makes me feel quite sad.I really wish all of our family members will be there for k.long but I know that Allah knows what's the best for our family..

Just a few hours ago, our naqibah told us that we must deliver what we've learnt to others so that we wouldn't be like stagnant water.Stagnant water??What's with that? As we all know, stagnant water consists of sediments,filthy wastes etc..It's almost the same with us.If we keep the knowledge that we know to ourselves, soon enough we'll become just like the water; the knowledge will slowly becomes useless and fades away.And, when we tadabbur surah At-Taubah, I felt so shameful of myself. I think i'm very snobbish, thinking that i'm always doing right things without realizing that i can be wrong as well. Thinking that I am better off than somebody else..Astaghfirullah,forgive me Ya Allah!

And every now and then,I kept thinking why do I always feel stressed when I'm here?Why do I feel so uptight? And staying here makes me feel so out of place as if I cannot suit well in this place.The best part is, I survived here.Am I simply putting a facade, pretending to be happy, comforting my heart that I'll survived here no matter what happens? This leads me to think about the power of our mind.The mind stimulates the way we think,sends various signals throughout the body and keep reminding us so many times.The creation of mind for the human is really incredible and nice..How will it be if we,humans do not have minds?Will there be any difference between us and the animals/plants and any other living things?The main point here, after we've been given the greatest gift from Allah, do we use it wisely(to show the difference of human and animals)?

Verily, Allah's given so much power to our minds to make choices in the world.It's really up to us.Thank you, Allah...thank you so much!!With that,I really hope that I'll be able to be one of those who appreciate this special gift from Allah...amin.Insyallah...

Salam~~

~salam~

Greetings to all, peace be upon you!

Aah,finally...I've been able to create my own blog. I wish to create a blog for such a long time, yet I fail to find a reason to do so until now.Don't ask me why, eh?

I want to have a blog of my own to share my knowledge, experiences and to learn from others as well.Hopefully, it'll be able to help me to reflect upon what I'm doing in my life to be better(with Allah's bless...^_^ ) in the coming days.

Yosh!I'm going to a Japanese event in Shah Alam called Bon Odori this evening.I'm feeling quite happy to go there.Insyallah, I'll get new experience and lots of food there..hihi .FOOD,FOOD,FOOD, wait for me....=)

~~eternal happiness~~~ehehe...*rubs back of head*