Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim...
Although I'd love to write about things that I dearly hold onto for the past few years, I've come to term that maybe, just maybe, there isn't much left here about that since I haven't been keeping tab on it and was left out of touch.
The metaphor's just like an Arabic saying,
"Faaqidu as-syai' laa yu'tih"
You can't give something that you don't have.
And with that, I rest my case...
On the other hand, I do really want to write about stances.
Stance - noun. A mental or emotional position adopted with respect to something.
As I pass through the days of adulthood, I've come to realize that many of the things I used to think can be actually perceived in various perspectives. Its like I can see the crossroads in life, and how they may cross paths with each other or will never ever cross paths again.
Things do not actually fall directly into black and white area. They can fall off into the grey ones, blue or yellow or even red maybe. There are no right or wrong things of doing things (unless if it goes against the syariah).
Those stands that I used to have about certain things are slowly changing. Changing in accordance to these experiences that are shaping me mostly at this stage of growing up.
Where I am slowly becoming more receptive to my surroundings. Where I get to feel very indecisive about things, and where I use my thought process the most.
It's ever changing nature that slowly builds you into someone you yourself are surprised with.
Learning and embracing that it's okay to do this and that with mistakes. Knowing about yourself more than ever before. Knowing that it is okay to have disagreement with others provided that you can show respect and embrace his/her views too without having to condone. Getting to know to others without holding self back too much anymore. Knowing what you yourself like and dislike and your preferences in life i.e., liking to know the big picture before anything else, disliking people who have anger management, liking to backpacking, disliking surprises, wanting to be humanitarian above all and things like that...you know?
It's after all a journey to self-discovery.
Deep inside, it feels like you can see the way where you want yourself to be.
And of course, at the end of the journey, you want to be in Jannah no matter what (if you're a Muslim that is).
I know what it feels like to be 'in' and what it feels like on the outside. When you finally get thrown into both worlds, you get to be more emphatic because now, you already know how this side works and how the other side works.
I've had my fair share of skepticism, hence I'd love to finesse the stances that I've had and are still having into something much more mature.
Of all things, I dearly hope and want to be that connecting bridge. Between the two worlds.
LBNL, I just want to say that alhamdulillah, I love getting old. I love all the experiences that Allah's given me so far, and I couldn't ask for more. Because those experiences are nurturing me into my future self that I can't wait to meet ! InshaAllah towards a better dai'e, muslimah and person inside out.
