For the Love

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem...

In the name of God, the Giver of Mercy, the Most Beneficient....

Alhamdulillah...I've just finished classes for my second semester in grad school. T'was real hard, I mean 6 courses in a semester was a cray idea.

Anyhow, just now, I called Mak out of the blue because i) Homesick, and ii)Miss home like GodKnowsWhat. When I gave salaam to Mak, she said, "Oh, I was just thinking about you just now". And that gets me really really touched and somewhat sad(?), because Mak is always thinking about her children.

Which leads to the love post.

If anything is pure is this world, it's the love between parents & children. The unconditional love that no one -except for God- can give you. I think to love someone unconditionally is terribly hard, because it needs you to be patient, and to keep loving the other person with all your heart with his/her flaws as well as strengths. To love is to deeply care, to long for presence, to risk being hurt, and have patience, and to keep loving all the same. Which are what our mothers have been doing. Despite our flaws as their children, their love is always, always there for us.

To have a mother's love, it's really amazing and a blessing from God. A sign of His mercy that sometimes our stubbornness will overlook when we're in ingratitude.

From the journey I had to Perth with Ami (le soulmate), I had one of those moments where I felt the negativity inside me bubbling up, the whispers of Shaytan. But upon realizing that, I tried as might to keep remembering all the good things I treasure about her as her friend, because truthfully she's always there for me with her golden heart & the bond we have is something invaluable for me till the rest of my life. Even when we fall out for a while, we picked up with the continuous reaching out, and I am really thankful for having a friend like her. And I guess, that's when I know there is such thing as loving someone despite their flaws.

I realize in life that, for me, who's terribly complex, and socially awkward introvert, I really treasure those few I have in my life (my parents, my sibs, my INTI friends -only around 10 of them-, my housemates back in Columbus, the friend I often went to MSA with, Nick, Becca and Brent (whom I've bonded over Arabic sessions), my ex-mutarabbiah Vandy juniors, and of course, that one girl who's struggling with me in many ways in life, in Marquette).

If I were to marry, or to die (either one that comes first), I appreciate these people's presence. To pray for me, in a closed ceremony. Just them knowing about me gives me enough peace. Just knowing that if anyone from them will die before me, would set me into alert! Just these selected fews whom I really treasure in life.

After almost 25 years of living, I don't know if I'm becoming wiser, but life has taught me about loads of things. Things that matter, people that I want to keep in life, people who I've known I've lost over the years -even when we tried to patch things up, but honestly, it didn't work out the way we wanted it to be, right?-, and above all, it will teach you secrets about yourself and God. That's what life is, it will teach you to grow up from your past to becoming the present and future you. Which reminds me, I want to grow up being forgiving & kind (above all). I want to be a 60-year old (if I lived long enough) with that kind of heart.

Also, life teaches us that we, humans always long for something. We crave presence, attention, care, and things that sometimes are unknown to us. Almost like our longing to be somewhere that will give eternal peace in our heart i.e., the Paradise. These very few days, I had a lingering feeling of longing to be at the last CASIS's Saturday Night lecture that I didn't get to join. It perplexed me, because it felt like I had missed something monumental in my life. Yet when I think about it, it's very humbling to have this feeling of longing, because it reminds us that we're after all just human. Humans who needs constant reassurance from God, that He will be the One who will satisfy our longings. We yearn for His presence, in our life, after all.

Ya Allah, please make me amongst those who will always, always love my parents and You. And let not this love and longing make me forget about the abundance of goodness in akhirah. A better ending....

Postscript : I'm glad not everyone I know is reading my blog, so let this be a testament, and a reminder to my older self. inshaAllah

Syria

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

With what's currently happening there, it sets panic attacks within me.

It gets me thinking, what have I done to help them? How can I help them?!

Have I done enough to make the most of my life in obedience to Allah?

Do I spend a lot of my time wasting it with actually nothing? Watching movies, heedless talks, buying things and more things et cetera

Because for all I know, my life could end anytime soon.

I'm running against time. We're all are.

Allah....indeed I've been heedless for much too long.

Nadiah, wake up!

{قُلْ هَلْ نُنَبِّئُكُم بِالْأَخْسَرِينَ أَعْمَالًا. الَّذِينَ ضَلَّ سَعْيُهُمْ فِي الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَهُمْ يَحْسَبُونَ أَنَّهُمْ يُحْسِنُونَ صُنْعًا} [الكهف :103-104]

Avenue N

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

In the name of God, the Most Merciful, the Most Beneficient...

It's been a while since I wrote...although it hasn't reached half a year, or even years or so.

This semester's definitely getting tougher with heavier workload, including the additional part time cert class I'm having on weekend with le soulmate & her sister in University Malaya. Not complaining though, because alhamdulillah I love them all <3

All praises to Allah, for He is still giving me chances after chances to live in this impermanent world. For giving me chances to pursue in the road of knowledge, the road to becoming someone who knows, and becoming someone who does not know...again. For giving me chances, to do all sorts of things - see the lands of Western Australia, go back home to smell the fresh air in Alor Setar whilst mingling with lovely family members whom I miss the most.

Honestly, I've been following the Saturday Night lecture sessions done by CASIS UTM-KL twice in a month in which I am terribly thankful to Allah for having a companion (Farah) who relentless pursue the road to understands more about Islam, and who offers me shelter for the night -4 times in a row.

The lecture is more of commentaries about Prof Sy. Naquib al-Attas' Islam & Secularism, chaired by Prof Zainiy. Though I wasn't really following the discussion (because I have yet to buy the book and read it), but I really enjoy it so far because it absolutely challenges the way I think about this realm. Given the fact that I was following usrah, I sorta miss this intellectual challenge.

Anyhow, last night was monumental when Prof Zainiy finally get into the topic of Islam as religion. I was hoping to make a good note, but I had a choppy one because all the commentaries made were brilliant!! Here's few for my future reference:

- Islam is a concept of religion & the foundation of ethics and morality. What is morality and what is ethics? What then is religion?
- Religion is from the word religio which vaguely refers to the bond between men and the gods.
- Deen, as defined as religion in Islam, comes from the 3 root letter (د-ي-ن)
- Deen is also related to daana which brings the meaning of yield, obligation, and indebtedness.
- In relation to indebtedness, men is indebted to his Lord (Allah) for the very reason of his own existence.
- Men was once nothing, but now he is something. Upon creation, men bore witness upon himself who is his Lord (Alastu birabbikum...Qaalu, bala shahidna..")
- This indebtedness of existence that men owes, can lead him to loss, unless he knows and acts in the right way to repay his debt.

Pemikiran Semasa Muslim di Malaysia

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah, Lagi Maha Pengasihani...

Alhamdulillah, terasa begitu bersyukur sekali diberi nikmat dapat menghadiri salah satu seminar berkisarkan pemikiran-pemikiran berdasarkan buku Tsaqafah Ad-Daieyah tulisan Sh Yusuf al-Qardhawi...

Berlatarkan hiruk-pikuk di bandaraya Kuala Lumpur, dan juga jerebu, 6 jenis ilmu kupasan Sh Yusuf al-Qardhawi di dalam bukunya diterjemahkan semula melalui speakers yang berbeza latar belakang akademiknya.

Melalui penyampaian para speakers, ternyata diri ini berasa begitu terkesima sekali kerana tidak disangka bahwa tahap pemikiran ilmuwan di Malaysia begitu progresif dan (jika tidak keterlaluan) setaraf dengan pemikir di luar negara...seperti yang pernah diketemui dan didengar pemikiran mereka samada di Youtube, mahupun konvensyen di sana yang sempat dihadiri.

Pertama kalinya, terasa begitu malu dengan diri sendiri kerana selalu "underestimate" ilmuwan Malaysia. Masih lagi memikir bahawa ilmuwan muslim Malaysia itu jumud dan tidak terbuka dengan ideologi-ideologi lain, tetapi nah! di seminar ini, baru diri ini terasa begitu kerdil sekali.

Adapun speakers dari universiti awam, mahupun dari pusat konsultan, semuanya begitu terbuka menerima pandangan-pandangan luar (contohnya, Barat) dan pada masa yang sama, mereka ini menawarkan pandangan-pandangan yang dikonstruk semula menepati dengan kerangka islam.

Betapa setiap daripada mereka, begitu bersungguh menyampaikan harapan setiap satu. Sehingga diri ini yang masih mudah uhuk! berasa begitu malu jika tidak bersungguh menekuni ilmu dengan jalan yang sebetulnya, dan menyumbang kembali kepada masyarakat Malaysia sekurang-kurangnya.

Antara point yang begitu menarik sekali diutarakan oleh Tn Fazrul Ismail dan Dr Mohd Rofa dalam pembentangan mereka adalah berkenaan kebenaran. Di sini, mereka mengungkapkan bahawa sifat manusia empirikal itu fitrahnya memang mahu mencari kebenaran. Kebenaran di sini terbahagi kepada dua yakni:

1. Knowledge (Perceived truth within human sense)
2. Truth (Truth only known by God)

Dan gabungan antara kedua-dua elemen ini, apabila dikuasai, akan dikurniakan hikmah dari yang Maha Agung. Ternyata di sini, ada elemen kuasa ketuhanan yang perlu diakui oleh manusia untuk menjadi seorang yang berhikmah di samping menjadi orang yang benar di sisiNya.

Subhanaka laa 'ilma lana illa ma 'allamtana innaka antal 'aliimu alhakiim..."Maha suci Engkau, tidak ada yang Kami ketahui selain daripada apa yang Engkau ajarkan kepada kami, sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang Maha Mengetahui lagi Maha Bijaksana..". Begitulah kalimat yang diungkapkan oleh para malaikat di dalam surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 32.

Gratitude

بِسْمِ اللَّـهِ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ
حم ﴿١﴾ تَنزِيلُ الْكِتَابِ مِنَ اللَّـهِ الْعَزِيزِ الْحَكِيمِ ﴿٢﴾ إِنَّ فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ لَآيَاتٍ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ ﴿٣﴾ وَفِي خَلْقِكُمْ وَمَا يَبُثُّ مِن دَابَّةٍ آيَاتٌ لِّقَوْمٍ يُوقِنُونَ ﴿٤﴾ وَاخْتِلَافِ اللَّيْلِ وَالنَّهَارِ وَمَا أَنزَلَ اللَّـهُ مِنَ السَّمَاءِ مِن رِّزْقٍ فَأَحْيَا بِهِ الْأَرْضَ بَعْدَ مَوْتِهَا وَتَصْرِيفِ الرِّيَاحِ آيَاتٌ لِّقَوْمٍ يَعْقِلُونَ ﴿٥﴾ تِلْكَ آيَاتُ اللَّـهِ نَتْلُوهَا عَلَيْكَ بِالْحَقِّ ۖ فَبِأَيِّ حَدِيثٍ بَعْدَ اللَّـهِ وَآيَاتِهِ يُؤْمِنُونَ ﴿٦

1. Ha Meem
2. The revelation of the Book is from Allah the Exalted in Power, Full of Wisdom.
3. Verily in the heavens and the earth, are Signs for those who believe.
4. And in the creation of yourselves and the fact that animals are scattered (through the earth), are Signs for those of assured Faith.
5. And in the alternation of Night and Day, and the fact that Allah sends down Sustenance from the sky, and revives therewith the earth after its death, and in the change of the winds,- are Signs for those that are wise.
6. Such are the Signs of Allah, which We rehearse to thee in Truth; then in what exposition will they believe after (rejecting) Allah and His Signs?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As of late, I've come across several powerful ayah (verses) in the Qur'an that just give me reminders to remember more about Allah and His creations.

In one of lectures by NAK of Surah Yaseen, he mentioned of how in the Qur'an, there are presence of connected letters that are unknown of their meanings. Such as Alif-Laam-Meem, Ha-Meem et cetera. The knowledge of what those letters mean belongs only to Allah, and that serves as reminders to us that we humans, are limited but Allah, He's Al-'Aliim (The Most Knowing).

Usually when Allah starts a surah (chapter) with these unknown letters, the verse followed by tells us about the signs of Allah...the creations, the mukjizaat namely His ultimate Sign (ayaat) -- which is this miraculous Qur'an. In the Surah Al-Jathiya (The Crouching) above, the 2nd verse tells us about the revelation of the Qur'an, continued with the creations of Heavens & Earth, of self, of animals, of alternations between night & day, and His power to give us rizq (sustenance), and to make things that are impossible for us humans to do. SubhanaLlah

As I read through these verses, it made me wonder a lot about life. This almost 25 years of life, have I been grateful and aware enough of all of the ni'mah (blessings) that Allah has given me, every day?
Have I used all the ni'mah for the betterment of being a khalifa (steward) and 'abid (servant)?

I hope I die being grateful to God. Every night, before sleeping, remind yourself about your everyday blessings. And remind yourself, that Allah's the Source of those blessings. So acknowledge Him through your 'amal throughout your days & nights.

May Allah keep us all in His care. Always, always.

Slowly slow

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Beneficient

Have you ever thought in life once -if not most- why do I have to continuously struggle ? Why am I being tried ?

And it feels tiring, isn't it ? To be always on watch to keep yourself on guard, to make sure you made the "right" decisions (even if you don't actually know if it's right or wrong).

And then, when you're in such difficulty or you're such in need of something, you just turn to Allah...and you ask of Him to guide you...to help you...to fix you...or to just do anything to you so long He's still be with you no matter what.

You wait, wait, and wait...and wait. And wait, for something to at least happen. To know that He'd actually heard what you felt, what you tried to convey.

Somehow, the waiting just seem forever and ever...that you're starting to lose your patience. On yourself, and on Him.

Over time, you kinda just forgot all about those struggles that you once had, of the things you ever said and asked of Him.

But one day, or some other days, you found yourself getting answers to those heartfelts. Those prayers that you openly or monologued-ly uttered...

It just left you with a squeezing pain of joy and happiness, and tears in your eyes, sobbing, and thanking Allah...because for all these years, months, or even days Allah's been listening to you all along.

He knows.

He knows....and He's just waiting to give you at the right time.

Slowly slow.

AS00572053

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Most Beneficient...

Setelah selesai Ramadhan, bagaimanakah perubahan pada diri?

Itu ayat monolog selepas beberapa hari dalam Syawal.

Lantasku berfikir secara random. Dalam hidup ini, sudah pasti akan ada pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti, "Dah dapat 10A, nak sambung belajar apa?", atau "Dah grad, sekarang ni buat apa?" atau "Dah bilenyee kome nak kawen?" ataupun, "Eh anak hang dah beghapa oghang?" dan seterusnya...

Dalam pada itu, tuntas diriku berfikir selain soalan-soalan ini, apa pula soalan perkembangan diri sendiri (baca personal growth)? Apakah hidup ini hanya diukur dengan gred, kerjaya, anak et cetera?

Oleh itu, moleklah sangat kiranya kita, sebagai seorang yang berdiri sendiri dengan kehadiran Allah, menilai kembali dan membuat personal goals dalam hidup.

Dari segi spiritual, gimana ya?
Dari segi intelek, gimana ya?
Dari segi penjagaan fizikal, gimana ya?
Dari segi kematangan emosi, gimana ya?

Paling-paling tidak, dalam tarbiyah, tidak asing lagi dengan terma 10 muwasofat tarbiyah.

Pun begitu, semestinya pada diri sendiri, harus ada inisiatif untuk perincikan lagi apa yang mahu dicapai.

Contoh; mahu sihat dari segi fizikal. lihat saja setiap hari, ada set goal berapa kali floss gigi. Selain berus gigi lah.

Lagi contoh; mahu lagi dekat dengan Tuhan. lihat berapa kali dan sejauh mana pengetahuan tentangNya. berapa kali dalam sehari sudah tatap dan baca al quran?

Semestinya pada umur sebegini, sebegini, ada peningkatan pada amal juga pada diri secara keseluruhannya yang kita hendak jadi lebih baik. Juga perubahan meninggalkan apa yang tidak baik untuk diri sendiri.

Salah satu cara menjadi adil adalah bermula dengan berlaku adil pada hak diri sendiri.

Ayuh, mari mulakan perubahan!

In the spirit of madrasah Ramadhan, let us be better khalifa, better duat, better daughters/son, better friends, and better muslims and human...In sha Allah 

Ramzan III

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

In the name of God, the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious...

InshaAllah apart from sharing another hadeeth from the Daily Hadith app, I would also like to share bits of reflections of how this Ramadhan has been going on so far for me. So, long post warning.

I have been meaning to write this for a while, and I guess it's time now. For a lot of reasons, I've always think that one of the best thing about Ramadhan is that you get to be spiritually cleansed once again.

And yes, it's true isn't it? Ramadhan has been always the special month that Allah has given us to race and persist in doing good ibadah that eventually will becoming habit throughout the year, if not throughout our life.

One of the reasons why Ramadhan is so so ultimately wonderful due to the fact that it is in this month that the miraculous Quran was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him). It is almost by default then with the revelation of words from God (Allah) that we, Muslims get to know about the beautiful messages in Islam.

In which the truth and gems lie within in the Quran that it should be a great motivation for all of us to study it better to understand more about our religion, what Allah wants us to know about Him, his creations and all that matter to him, beyond what is on this earth.

Personally, verses about differences in colors, races, and the way Prophets' of God (Adam, Ibrahim-Abraham, Yusuf-Joseph, Yaaqub-Jaacob and others) mentioned in the Quran always struck me. You see, as we go through and read the quran alongside its tafseer, Prophet Ibrahim alayhissalam (a.s) was endowed in intellect, Musa a.s had the strength,  Sulayman a.s had the power, and Prophet Muhammad pbuh had emotional intelligence...

Here Allah is showing us that He created people with differences be it in the physical, intellectual, emotional self. Allah knows that we, as humans especially, are different from each other but the best thing is, He taught us to be respectful and be graceful on others about it.

If we are in differences, be mindful and walk away if the other start throwing you bad words and/or choose to engage in mutual discourse that leaves both parties in peace...InshaAllah. We are taught in the Quran about adab and hikmah so much so that we could even see lessons from the verses in Sura Ibrahim about kalimah at-thoyyiba, from the verses in Sura Taha about qaulan sadida when Allah ask of Prophet Musa(Moses) a.s to meet Firaun(Pharaoh) and a lot more.

Yet sometimes we get transfixed on how the other person isn't having the same faith, race, intellect nor emotional aspects similar to us that we failed to see on the other side what it is like for them, and to approach the issue with care, after having reflections including good choices of words.

This also includes the way we're doing dawah. Its sometimes easier to blame, scoff, and act like, "I'm holier than thou" or "I actually hold the one and the only truth" or "Your fikrah is wayyy off" ...Right? :( When in fact, people receive guidance from Allah in different forms of invitations, be it through halaqas/usrah/circles, good characters, self study of Quran.

We have to acknowledge that we have reverts, muslims from various backgrounds, of different madzhab, of different upbringing...Hence, just know that the truth lies always with God, and we are, especially only another medium to invite. Therefore, keep doing your amal with ihsan and itqan and full of Rahmah.

On another hand, with deep reflections, thereupon comes responsibility to act upon it. Though this has been quite a struggle for each and everyone of us (especially idealists), I would like to encourage that every individual acts according to what is within his/her capabilities. As an example, given that a lot of saying, love is simply not words but acts or love is a verb, I would argue that some people do have difficulty in expressing their love with acts and some have difficulty with words. It all really boils down to appreciating any form of love is presented to us. Love could take in many forms, and it's terribly wonderful if we could just feel it deep down, be grateful and never forget to sayالحمد الله

Another thing to add is, with principles in line with presenting "truth", there are needs to speak up when injustice has been done; injustice to our own spiritual self, injustice to fellow human beings, including injustice to the creations of God alongside us. When we feel the need to speak up, it is upon us especially Muslims to address the issue after series of investigation and verification (tabayyun) of the issue followed with good words, and with clarity (not sarcasm, seriously). -I myself, sometimes fall into liking statuses of people who wrote with sarcasm and I'm ashamed with that-

Last but not least, let's not forget upon how we will be gathered in front of Allah in the day of Judgment, and will be asked of our own deed. And the fact that Allah will put someone inside Jannah with His mercy mashaAllah...and those who are with qalbun saleem (purified heart)...as well as with taqwa...may we be amongst those people who are fortunate enough to receive such mercy and enter one of the Gates to Jannah.

With Ramadan to end in another 5 days, let's be hopeful and strive to end it with goodness and receiving forgiveness from God and continuing on our resolutions during Ramadhan.

Allahumma innaka 'afuwwun kareem, tuhibbul' afwa fa'fu 'anni...

Ramzan II

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, Most Merciful

This is a bit off from what I promised before, but I've just got to tell that mashaAllah this book is terribly good. Such a good choice, if you ever decided to pick up your seerah back.

Muhammad : His Life Based On The Earliest Source by Martin Lings

Aside from that, as promised. Another selected hadith for Ramadhan;

Ramzan

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

In the name of God, the Lord of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy...

As Ramadan approaches its 15th day tonight, its still a wonder that Allah is giving me, us to continuously perform our best deeds. Liyabluwakum ahsanu 'amala...remember?

I've actually made a mental note to myself to post reflection series (well, sort of) starting on the 1st day of Ramadhan from the chapters I've read in this beautiful beautiful book. A book, that was bought as a gift from a precious friend - may Allah preserve and bless her for her kindness - using her book vouchers.

A Journey To God : Reflections on the Hikam of Ibn Atha'illah by Jasser Auda

(See how bad I am at taking pic...geez)

Turns out it didn't work as planned, because let's face it, mental list is never a good start to do something to begin with. Writing down the list does helps A LOT...at least for me.

So I resorted to this. Posting selected ahadeeth from this uber cool app called Daily Hadith. It gives you notification per day, and mind you it's got the bestest design I've ever seen. Like this;

Just look at the simple design, and turquoise background with a lil bit of waveylike deco!

Also, Hassan Al Banna once suggested, reading ahadeeth soften the heart. I would check on this. Is that why people who undergo tarbiyah reads Riyadus Solihin everyday too?

However so, with the wondrous amount of ahadeeth easily available these days, we as muslims especially need to check on the status and the context of them all. Is this certain hadith hasan,  mutawatir, dhaif et cetera? What about the "perawi"? Do I know how this hadith came about? Hence, the reason why we need to refer to its syarah, with guidance from the people who are 'aalim in this matter. To not misinterpret them and misusing them you know. I remembered once, attending to Dr Maszlee's talk in Bangi when he talked about this.

You know, in Ramadhan Allah is making it easier for us to focus internally, hence it's easier to listen closely to our heart to start make changes. The spiritual needs get heightened so that when you read stuffs or listen to lectures, they just hit you real hard. I mean, the eeman senstivity just get all activated more aight? That's ihsan and product of taqwa all right.

May Allah keep us steadfast in performing our deeds even after Ramadhan, and in trying our best to be on the straight path. Quoting Sh Yusuf Qardawi, be a Rabbaniyyun, not Ramadhaniyyun :)

الحمد لله الذي هدانا لهذا وما كنا لنهتدي لولا أن هدانا الله

"Praise to Allah, who has guided us to this; and we would never have been guided if Allah had not guided us."

(Al-A'raaf 7:43)

Getaway PD

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem...

In the name of God, the Most Merciful, the Most Beneficient

I've had a weekend getaway with highschool (clique) friends last week. It was planned, 10 years ago...when we were 15.

When I met them back, it felt all too surreal...and awkward.

I know this is getting somewhat journal kind of thing, but bear with me.

Truth is, I've never been especially good at reconnecting with people I used to know (except for the INTIANs, and special sisters who stay together regardless). Given a period of time, things get frighteningly awkward...and I just lose the friendliness altogether. Honestly, ideally I would still want to keep the memories and stay friendly, but realistically it didn't just happen the way I imagined it.

Digression aside...there's a lot of catching up done with said high school friends. And you know what, I was and still am terribly surprised to know what each of us has gone through to become who we are today.

At 25, some has gone through the test of betrayal, backstabbing, depression, heartache/heartbroken, loss of parents et cetera.

When listening to their stories, I felt like the biggest jerk because I have never ever understood their struggles and it felt so painful to listen to their recounted experiences. One friend almost broke down recounting hers, but all of us listened intently.

Because we have never heard about it so openly told before. 'Cause we thought she was so tough. And strong. How could a person so strong break? Yet, that night she looked so vulnerable, and I could tell that she finally felt better telling us about it.

The depth of each of the test was unthinkable...that I felt it is almost impossible that my friends, yes, them have grown so much from those tests.

It makes me keep thinking, that Allah tested each and everyone of us so that it provides us chances to be more patient, more resilient, more forbearance, and most importantly to be a stronger individual.

I learnt too that you gotta be strong for your own sake. People don't give a dang about you, because they are just more self-conscious about themselves and they're busy battling their tests too.

You just gotta be strong.

And keep moving forward.

Look ahead of the difficulties, and see what lies beyond the trials.

Go on, be vulnerable. Constructively wallow. Thread through all the pains. Allow yourself to grow through those painful emotions.

'Cause you know what?

At the end of the rainy days, you gonna be a better fighter of your own.

InsyaAllah!

HodgePodge II

Manusia dilahirkan di atas muka bumi ini dengan dua tujuan iaitu menjadi HAMBA kepada Allah, seperti dinyatakan di dalam Al-Quran "Dan tidak Aku jadikan jin dan manusia melainkan untuk mengabdikan diri kepadaKu," (Surah Az-Zariat :Ayat 56) dan juga menjadi KHALIFAH di atas muka bumi seperti dinyatakan di dalam Surah Al-Baqarah : Ayat 30.

Ini menunjukkan hubungan Vertikal dan Horizontal dalam diri manusia, iaitu hubungan di antara manusia dengan Pencipta dan hubungan di antara manusia dengan makhluk yang lainnya.

Hubungan ini bukanlah hubungan yang sia-sia. Ia dilengkapi dengan tanggungjawab yang perlu dipenuhi.

Sumber : FB Khalifah Method

Sometimes, you just lost yourself delving to contextualize life. Your purpose of life. The meaning of eeman et cetera

Isn't it funny to think, that it's been there all along. You just need to be reminded about it, time and time again.

Sometimes people talk about big things, yet they forgot that all of us crave to finding and understanding the basic truth...the foundation of aqidah/tauhid. Our tunjang.

Knowing more about our Creator and loving Him, the haqiqatul ibadah, the sweetness of eeman...

Para pencari kebenaran, yes, these are all what we look forward to.

The morning and evening adzkar, the recitation of the Kalamullah, the act of praying to your Lord.

Things that make us cry in remembrance of God. Like when you pray to your Lord, and start reciting the Fatihah and you feel deeply connected with Allah. Especiallly when it comes to,

"Iyyaka na'budu wa iyyaka nasta'in,
Ihdina as-siraat al-mustaqeem"

With the understanding that we bow in submission subserviently to Him, and to Allah we ask of help. No one else but Him.

And what is it that we're asking Allah ? It is His guidance, His light, the nur ilahi. That will ensure us finding and staying on the path to Him.

Because, what is life without it ?

How long have we been depraving our soul of the sweetness of being guided in Allah's light ?

How long have we been working on to know Allah better ? The meaning of His 99 names, His 20 sifat and contemplating and realizing that He is indeed very near to us, every single day ?

I just miss talking about God. I just miss in-depth tafseer or tadabbur of the Quran being done in circles. Going verse by verse, slowly revealing the mystery and connections behind those glorious spoken words by God.

What is a circle without in-depth tafseer ? Because it feels incomplete, almost out of character.

#PurificationOfSoul

"Begitu ramai mencari makna iman, namun terlalu ramai yg tergesa-gesa sama ada terlalu memaknainya secara emosional atau empiris.

Manusia mencari kebenaran dalam falsafah Barat atau Islami, dalam kitab ilmu tauhid,tafsir,hadith dan kalam, dalam membaca dan fana puisi sufi, dalam mendalami fiqh (apapun) secara empiris.

Ada juga mencarinya dalam amal, sehingga semakin banyak tahajudnya, hafazannya, kebun dakwahnya, makalah karangannya, khidmat masyarakatnya, pengorbanannya sudah rasa cukup imannya. 

Oleh sebab itu, penting sekali kita merenung kalimat Muadz bin Jabbal (duduklah bersamaku, dan mari beriman sejenak) adalah ingatan yang iman kita ini adalah tatapan Tuhan kita.

Setiap masa penting untuk meniliti pengaruh iman atas kehidupan khusus output iman adalah adab/akhlaq. Sentiasa kita ini hamba, sentiasa kita tidak tahu nasib kita di hujung sana, sentiasa mencari dan berdoa utk petunjuk (tawfiq). Setiap masa.

Kerana kita ini pada tatapan Tuhan bagaimana? Kalam yg indah belum tentu refleksi iman yg tinggi." 

INFJ

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

It's a great thing actually, to read back your previous written post and all of a sudden, you're reminded again.

"Whatever you decide to do with your life, it’s going to be really, really complicated.
Science and technology is complicated. History and politics is complicated. People are complicated. Figuring out how to be happy, and do simple things like take care of our kids and maintain friendships and relationships, is complicated.

Society is investing in you so that you can help solve the many challenges we are going to face in the coming decades, from profound technological challenges to helping people with the old age, to searchinb for human happiness and meaning."

I found this written waaaaay back in 2014.

Now, I'm struggling so hard that when I read 'em again, I almost choked up on the words.

Who knew...who knew indeed. It gets me back on track. My intention, first and foremost.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

I am always struggling to make sense of things, for I'm not that great at all at adapting and adjusting. 

I too, cannot stop myself from analyzing every single thing that happens. I want to know the reason(s) behind actions, reactions and existence. 

A lot of times, I feel myself detaching to understand all of these. 

For once and for all, I really really want to connect the dots and start making sense.

People always had it on me that I "know" stuffs, but truth is I am learning too. I do not know a lot of things, and I probably will still do not know about 'em till the day I die.

Somewhere on the web someone wrote,

"When given enough time to contemplate it, I feel like a square peg trying to fit into an unchangeable round hole. This feeling on an existential level that there is no role for me in this drama of life that is unfolding."

This is actually how myself work. Which I don't quite understand as well.

Alas, it's exciting to know and understand more about the very existence of ourselves, with what we could've done to serve our purpose to God. Don't you think?

وَإِذْ قَالَ رَبُّكَ لِلْمَلَائِكَةِ إِنِّي جَاعِلٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ خَلِيفَةً ۖ قَالُوا أَتَجْعَلُ فِيهَا مَن يُفْسِدُ فِيهَا وَيَسْفِكُ الدِّمَاءَ وَنَحْنُ نُسَبِّحُ بِحَمْدِكَ وَنُقَدِّسُ لَكَ ۖ قَالَ إِنِّي أَعْلَمُ مَا لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

(Al-Baqarah 2:30)

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

(Ad-Dzariyat 51:56)

Everlasting

إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلَاثَةٍ مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ وَعِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ وَوَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ
(HR. Muslim no. 1631)

“Jika seseorang meninggal dunia, maka terputuslah amalannya kecuali tiga perkara yaitu: sedekah jariyah, ilmu yang dimanfaatkan, atau do’a anak yang soleh.”



3 amal yang kekal kebaikannya.

Nak atau taknak berusaha ke arahnya,

Jawapannya dalam hati masing-masing.

Tanamlah impian mulai sekarang (kalau masih belum memasang niat) untuk mencari pahala yang mengalir pahalanya walaupun kita dah tiada nanti.

Mungkin kita mahu wakafkan kain telekung, Quran, sejadah atau apa sahaja yang memberi manfaat berpanjangan.

Ataupun menyampaikan ilmu kepada sesiapa yang boleh digunakan atau dimanfaatkan untuk kebaikan.

Menjadi murobbi/ah yang tekun mendidik dan mentarbiyah. Bayangkan betapa mengalirnya kebaikan itu...

Semoga, semoga, semoga...pahala itu mengalir walaupun selepas kita meninggal.

Adapun juga, tersangatlah penting mempunyai anak yang soleh/ah yang pasti mendoakan kita :']

Ya Allah, semoga masih ada sekelumit peringatan ini setiap hari dalam diri kita semua.

Hiduplah untuk akhirat yang kekal.

Death

Death has its own quirk way of reminding us.

Reminding us what this or that person did throughout his or her life.

Reminding us that how we can die anytime.

Regardless of our age, race, religion, ethnicity, wealth or even your health.

Death has its own morbid way of reminding us.

Reminding us that it comes by surprise.

Reminding us that we can die, in vain...or in complete peace.

As been said in one of the verses in Holy Quran,

"Ya ayyatuhal nafsul mutmainnah, irji'i ilaa rabbiki rodhiyatam mardhiyyah.."

Death does great wonders.

It spurs us back into action!

It wakes us up from our sleep, from our dreamy state, from our heedlesness.

Like a splash of cold water on your face.

Or shocking electric ripples that reverbrate in our muscles.

Death gladly let us know, what we've been doing so far in our lives.

Does death matters to us?

If it does, how much do we remember about it in our daily lives?

If it does, does it bring us to work and perform our deeds better?

Does it remind us that we are, nothing but a traveller in this world?

T__T

Ya Allah, grant those who have died in your name your Jannatul Firdaus.

Allahummaghfirlahu warhamhu wa'afihi wa'fu 'anhu.

Very deeply saddened with our loss. Tuan Haji Nik Aziz bin Nik Mat, Deah Barakat, and his wife, 

and his sister-in-law, and all of the innocent souls who have lost their lives in this world.

The real question is, where do we go from NOW?

Semoga kematian mereka menggerakkan.

Peranan

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim...
Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah Maha Penyayang.

Kita mulakan dengan mengembalikan segala pujian dan kesyukuran ke Ilahi atas segala nikmat yang senantiasa dikurniakanNya samada kita sedar mahupun tak.

Alhamdulillah terasa sangat dilimpahi dalam kasih sayang Allah bilamana Dia masih lagi memberi peluang kepada aku untuk terus melakukan amal kepadanya, dengan anggota yang sempurna dalam suasana yang aman.

Untuk kesekian kalinya, aku telah diberi kesempatan berjumpa mereka yang telah lama berada di jalan ini.

Barangkali aneh terasa bila aku katakan tiada yang lebih aneh daripada merasa seperti jiwa mereka dan aku dalam satu "wavelength" yang sama.

Aku ini, enaknya lebih suka memerhati dan mendengar. Bilamana aku melihat gelagat dan perilaku mereka, bilamana aku mendengar kata-kata hikmah mereka, aku juga tertanya-tanya samada mampukah aku berada dalam keadaan yang sama bila di usia mereka ini. Sungguh, hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui.

Alhamdulillah, dalam banyak perihal masih ada insan yang menginginkan dan tercari-cari cinta Allah. Sungguh, Allah itu Maha Pengasih. Seperti salah satu namaNya yang aku sangat suka, Al-Wadud :)

Selama mana aku melihat manusia-manusia ini, yang berpesan-pesan ke arah kebenaran dan menjauhi kejahatan, terus aku menanam azam dalam diri.

Biarpun aku ini masih cetek ilmunya, masih setahun jagung memahami liku-liku jalan ini, aku sungguh berharap aku mampu menyumbang melalui jalan-jalan yang dibukakanNya menggunakan apa yang aku ada.

Iya, aku sudah tahu, aku suka menulis. Cumanya, aku ini bukan seorang penulis yang baik untuk ummah. Maksudku, aku hanya menulis apa yang aku suka. Yang betul-betul berbekas dalam jiwa dan fikiranku. Aku memang masih kurang pengalaman menulis penulisan yang penuh ruh seperti mereka yang lain. 

Dan aku juga tahu, aku boleh berbual tentang perkara yang aku percaya boleh mengubah dunia ini. Walaupun hanya perkara itu mungkin tampak kecil atau remeh, tidak se-gah tajuk2 daurah (kerana limitasi aku sendiri ya), tapi tajuk2 seperti kesedaran moraliti sebagai manusia yang dimaknai dalam bentuk seorang khalifah yang berjiwa hamba.

Terlalu banyak perkara dalam dunia ini yang memerlukan setiap daripada kita untuk memulakan langkah. Dalam mengubah serta membuka pemikiran dan persepsi manusia dalam menuju Ilahi.

Di zaman ini, di mana manusia dahagakan dan mencari petunjuk kebenaran, aku tersangat merasakan urgensi setiap yang merasakan hakikat kebenaran supaya tidak duduk diam sahaja...Supaya kita mendalami setiap permasalahan mereka dan dapat meyakinka  mereka bahawa sungguh, Islam ini utamanya adalah rahmatan lil 'alamin. Melalui khidmah, negarawan dan tarbiah.

Aku percaya, setiap langkah itu bakal bermula apabila kita yakin, yakin bahawa setiap amalan kita ada nilainya. Ada perhitungannya. Samada amalan baik, amalan buruk mahupun amalan yang sia-sia.

"Fa man ya'mal misqaala zarratin khairan yarah. Waman ya'mal misqaala zarratin syarran yarah."

Not a single deed will get ever wasted.

Semoga Allah menjadikan kita antara golongan "Wa qaalu rabbuna Allah tsumma istaqaamu"(orang-orang yang berkata, “Tuhan kami adalah Allah”, kemudian mereka tetap istiqamah).

Uncalled For

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim :)

This post is totally uncalled for, hence, the title should explain it.

Few things happened few weeks ago, and some things are going to change in coming weeks too =) Alhamdulillah.

One prominent stuff that happened though;

I really hit off well with anyone who have had experience at being a secretary.

I mean, even if I didn't have a long chat with the person, there's just chemistry between us all.

The way secretary write, think etc is almost the same. Mind you, they're like the nerdiest of an organization. Secretaries are always, always those bookish type. And these people, they like to dwell on their thoughts to making changes in their own ways.

Also, they are NOT the type of people who like talking in front of an audience because let's face it, their President can do it so much better. Right?

The other thing is that, I noticed that makcik makcik who are secretaries in handling DeenTee are these women who look serious, but efficiently do their job, do not like wasting time, and talked with kindness in their eyes.

All of this got me thinking, among Rasulullah saw's friends and wives, who are those secretaries ? Because I'd like to know them more, and emulate what goodness they had around the Messenger.

That is all what I'd like to pen off.

Hodgepodge

Bismillah...

"Can't even begin to describe how beautiful the woods are today. With the changing leaves, the blooming fall wildflowers, and the blue sky, you can see the entire color spectrum"

Someone wrote this somewhere, and when I first read it, it struck something deep inside me.

I've always think that a good writer is someone who shares his/her thoughts or ideas for the world to interpret, and they will evoke some sort of emotion or intellectual or any kind of vivid response(s) to the readers.

It doesn't matter actually too if we (as the readers) think that the thoughts or ideas are boring or idyllic or...well, anything of the sort. But you know what, writers always pour their heart out when they write things because it matters to them. Those are the things they love to do.

And I, for one, do know for a fact that for someone who loves writing, he/she will always, always, always write regardless of everything.

On a side note, I am looking forward to reading Orhan Pamuk's My Name is Red and of course, Murakami's 1Q84.

Also, I've been trying to find history books about Malaysia, the birth of Middle East nations, the birth of Islamic movements that are as good as Destiny Disrupted's.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

P/S : I am still super stoked that one of my favorite authors followed me on Twitter :D